Classic CV

I have just had the opportunity to take a sneak peak at a CV which has triggered a stream of tears to roll down my face. Sad, I hear you ask ? Not at all, these are laughter tears!!!

To put this in context, I do not work in the "ubber" trendy media industry, or the ultra competitive Investment Banking world. None of that. I work in investment consulting, which is more relaxed but at the same time benefits from the presence of the "almighty actuary".

"An Actuary in Action"

Actuaries are finance professionals that look at the financial impact of risk and uncertainty. This is key to the UK investment consulting environment as most of our clients are pension funds. Pension funds basically have a stream of liabilities that will be incurred at some point in the future. So they use investment consultants to help them find a mix of assets that can generate enough return to cover these future liabilities (very basic definition -sic) So there are two parts to the equation, the asset side (where should you invest) and the liabilities side (how much risk do you have and what are your "future costs"). And the winner of the game is the one that manages to get more assets than liabilities and ends up in a surplus.

Enough of the jargon. Actuaries are highly technical people, who spend their time on Excel, modelling liabilities (again, amongst other things!). To give you an idea, there's an joke that says "Actuaries are the people that find accountants too exciting!". You get the picture.

So back to my CV. This guy hits full "actuary" marks, technical degree, FIA, CFA, relevant experience..etc..etc..and he's foreign (woohoo!). I skim read the document and reach the final sentence, the one that says Interests, and there it hits me.

" Mr. X is a passionate yo-yo player" !!!!!

Enough said.